Au Revoir. Merci.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Goodbye

The time has come, Ladies and Gentlespurts for The Bookseller to the Stars to retire.

I've thought about this for a long time and now with more writing work and projects on the go, I don't really have time to do a great deal on here anymore. I've really enjoyed it and am really proud for sticking with it for this long. I've met some wonderful people through here and have been proud to hear that I have inspired other blogs. When I started out, there weren't many book blogs and now everyone is at it, but I am really proud about what is on here and I stand by everything on it. Perhaps I was a little hard on Jade Goody, but weren't we all...

There are nearly 1,500 posts on this 'ere blog, some of them are pretty good...

• The World Exclusive interview with Courtney Love's Mum...
• Documenting the whole Big Green Bookshop adventure... It warmed the cockles of my Big Gay Heart it did....
• Conning Jimmy Swaggart's son into saying that Dan Brown is a Christ Hater
• Me slagging off all those books that didn't deserve to be printed and generally sticking up for the forced anonymity of ghostwriters to a point where we now see publishers awknowledging them through copyright, that we now (lovingly) call The Quest
• The Books of the Year posts (in all of their glory) and all of the author interviews in general
• The post that was in The Guardian and the post that was in an actual book you can buy in the shoppes

Yes, some of them are even funny. But, not very much...

Admittedly, some of them went on a bit and were a bit pointless in the grand scheme of things. But, I am going to keep everything on here for the sake of those who come across it and want to be entertained.

The book trade has amused me immensely and does consistantly. It's essentially ludicrous and a political minefield that treats itself like the secret service. Too many egos exist in one place and there are not enough people to go round for all of the ego massaging that is required. It exists on business models that are unfair and essentially promote greed over quality.

One thing I have learned doing this blog and in life in general over the past few years is that if you do something off your own back and do it well, to much admiration and praise whilst making those people who are supposed to do the things you are doing look bad, you are essentially going to put someone's nose out of joint (more than it actually is, that is) and there comes a time when you just have to walk away and say, 'Hey, it's been a fun ride but...'

Thank you all for your comments and coming over here. I'm always surprised how many of you come back here every day and that in itself is worth it. I think those who comment are on there, but if anyone wants to keep a track on what I am upto, you can find me on Facebook here. I'm hoping to turn The Quest into a book at some point and there will be more erotic writing on the way.

Adios Amigos... as Bitsy Ramone would probably say....

Bookselling to the Stars

Uber producer and current media darling, Mark Ronson (pictured here with his drunk cousin) was in the other day. he was both gigging and DJ'ing in the local area. I was off that day, so of course, my colleague was fielded with a million and one questions upon my return.

"Did you ask about Amy Winehouse?"

"No."

"Are they still doing the Bond theme?"

"Dunno."

"Crap, what did he buy?"

'The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay..."

"Ahhh... and?"

"Everything is Illuminated...."

"Ooooo, so predictable..."

New Amanda Video (Heart... Beats... Fast....)

"Astronaut" by Amanda Palmer

New Erotica by Yours Truly

I'm currently working with the fabulous and inspiring Emily Dubberley on a very special and worthwhile project for later in the year, but in the meantime here are another two stories I have contributed to her fabulous website, Cliterati for you to read through and perhaps send a link to a lover or some crazy guy or gal that you dig.... Who knows, they may reward you with something similar...

Mum, if you are reading this.... You might want to scroll down to the book reviews and banter about rubbish publishers instead...

Paul's Dogging Initiation
Subby in the Hallway

Never Trust a Man with a Hitler Moustache

Is there any reason why Sky News are still calling him SIR Robert Mugabe?

Big Words, You Are Beautiful

"You 'av the new Jordan book.... innit... like..."

Is this person lost? I think to myself. I glance around the immediate vicinity, possibly for the passing Boyzone tour bus she may be following.

"It's called Angel Un..."

"I know what it's called..."

"D'ya 'av it then?"

"I don't think it's out for a few weeks yet..." I ponder.

"Well, this magazine says it's out..."

She waves something made of pink and sparkly paper with Jordan's face all over the cover and some sort of headline about celebrities looking like shit. I tap the keywords, HEAVILY MARKETED GHOSTWRITTEN RUBBISH into the computer and low and behold, it appears.

"It's out on the 17th..."

"But this magazine says..."

"Yes, you said. The information I have is from the publisher of the book." Whereas the information you have, I think to myself is from a journalist who draws rings around famous people's cellulite all day.

"I think you can rest assured that date is pretty much authority...."

"Orforitty?"

"Yes, the 17th..."

"Why you using the big words, like?"

"Big words? I'm sorry..."

"Fuck you, you saddo...."

Intriguing market research for Miss Price, I am sure you will find.

You know, The Bookseller to the Stars would like to be supportive but...

...watching Amy Winehouse at Glastonbury is like watching a tumble dryer full of cats, drugged from a spin cycle, being put in front of a karaoke in Middlesbrough, with the suspicion that she possibly did something with 'our lad out the back of Netto on Tuesday night after the bingo...

...and like an awful night back home, I am sat on a bus stop waiting for the staggering girl to throw up in the shelter and then suck off some passing guy in Adidas tracksuit bottoms...

It's like watching my inapproriate cousin dancing at a awkward family wedding...

The Bookseller to the Stars Vs. Raffaella Barker

Today’s guest at The Bookseller to the Stars is Raffaella Barker. Her debut novel Come and Tell Me Some Lies was published in 1994, followed by The Hook, Hens Dancing, Summertime, Green Grass, the children's book Phosphorescence and A Perfect Life. Her new novel is published this month, called ‘Poppyland’

Synopsis:

POPPYLAND is a love story about two people who fall for each other through a series of coincidences. Ryder James meets Grace Hart the night her exhibition of paintings opens in Copenhagen. Both of them are loners, damaged by tragedy in their lives, both sceptical about love. But they have a connection that can't be broken, which takes them from their separate lives to Norfolk, where they both end up at the same time, bound together by a family event that neither of them knew the other was connected with. Romantic, elegiac, absorbing and quixotic, this love story for difficult people is a testament to the power of attraction. It's about the sea and land, about the past and how it shapes our futures, about how we find the right person to be with - a truly universal story.

BTTS: Tell us about Poppyland. What and where in the world is it?

RB: Poppyland is a stretch of coastline in Norfolk. Some time around 1900, the theatre critic Clement Scott went to Cromer and turned right when he got to the sea, and fell in love with the chalky cliffs and the corn fields strewn with poppies he saw stretchng for miles beneath a limitless sky. He invented the name for an area that was fashionable for summer holidays and for recuperation, and now it is all true again of that area.a I chose the name for my book because some of the story is set there and also because I like the ambiguity of the notion that poppies are both for remembrance and for forgetting - think of the opium poppy after all....

BTTS: Tell us a bit about what happens in the book?

RB: The book is about love and timing. What happens if you cross paths with someone and even though the attraction is like a magnetic force, you miss that moment. What brings you together again, is it chance or is it destiny? What makes the magic between two people and what trips them up as well.

So, its Ryder and Grace in Denmark, New York and Norfolk - and Little Venice - anywhere where there is water oddly enough, and this is their story......

BTTS: Tell us which writers inspire and have inspired you to be a writer...

RB: I am inspired in writing by those who do what I cannot - and I could not write an epic to save my life, so I have been utterly transported by Boris Pasternak in Doctor Zhivago, and by Tolstoy in Anna Karenina and War and Peace, Philip Roth in American Pastoral. Then I know it sounds pretentious, but Dante's Inferno - the bits I have read - is incredibly inspiring, poetry always is, so I also love Eliot and John Donne. When I am stuck I read one of the above, or Georgette Heyer, and for laughs, A Confederacy of Dunces, the Dud Avocado by Elaine Dundy. And for inspiration from thise doing what I do but these are the top of the tree for slicing the lid off the heart of what makes a family and a relationship tick and then perhaps implode, my favourites are Richard Yates, both Revolution Road and The Orchard House, and Anne Tyler , and Raymond Carver. and the writer who has written the books I wish I had written is Rose Tremain. I think she is my favourite living writer. Sorry, I got carried away!

BTTS: How many other Raffaella's do you know or have met? Tell us about the name and where it comes from...

RB: Most Raffaellas are porn stars. In my thinly disguised autobiographical first novel Come and Tell me Some Lies it says "I was named after a contessa who wore emeralds on every finger and lived in a villa overlooking Lake Nemi." Myth or memory, truth or fiction? I have no idea, and sadly no emeralds, but its a good name.

BTTS: You've been writing fiction for 15 years now. In this very challenging and large market, how do you feel about the ever-increasing trend of female celebrities lending/selling/pimping their names to ghost written works of fiction and becoming huge bestsellers?

RB: well, I am an optimist, so I rise to the challenge and carry on doing my thing. I haven't read any of the celebrity novels you are talking about, so I can't tell if they will stand the test of time, but when they get bored and move on to something different, I will still be here, writing what i write and I hope selling it. And if not, there's always ghost writing to fall back on!

BTTS: Tell us about what you do outside of the writing.

RB: Oh you know - milk goats, totter around in high heels, make soufflé, collect parking tickets and stroke mice - the usual nonsense

BTTS: What's next for the high heel tottering, soufflé making authoress?

RB: Teaching creative writing, learning how to make creme patisserie, mending my bicycle puncture and another book......always another book!

BTTS: Thanks Raffaella!

‘Poppyland’ is in all good bookshops now.

Raffaella’s website

Hit Me Up, Beotch...

"I get to go out, see everyone's friends, I get to see their family. I get to do the s*** that I wanna do. Pow, pow, pow."

I'll have you know that I know one or two things about gang culture. I spent a few years riding with my peeps from the Jodi Picoult Streetz Squad of Belsize Park since arriving in London. I was eventually asked to leave after I proffered the gang sign to another sista. The problem was I was in Sotheby's at the time and ended up bidding on a Jackson Pollock. But the one thing that I learned from my time in the hood was that there was certainly a time and a place to start suggesting that one is going to pop pop some bitch niggaz family in retribution and that place is probably not live TV.

Pssst, there are people watching....

Oh, I'd hate to be a fly on the wall when Alexandra goes back to work. That's going to be... awkward.

"Errr, Alex could you come to my office please?"

"Yo, wat up, bitch?"

"Sit down and close the door...."

(Teeth Kissing)

"Now, with much respect to all your dawgs and homies, I'm afraid..."

Yes, let's hope she's arrested, shall we?

Hoodoo Gurus - Bittersweet

Quite simply one of the greatest pop songs ever written, but one of the worst videos I have ever seen. Cardboard desert, and all... It also doesn't help how they look either. But then, it's from 1985 and everyone looked shit then. You should have seen me. This band should have been bigger than they were here, but we were too busy listening to Madonna and Phil Collins to care though. For shame....

The Brilliant 'Lost Boys'

Oh My God. Has anyone else read this yet?

I know it’s not out for another week or two, but I would love to know what other people thought as I was completely blown away by it. It's an absolute rollicking read.

I don’t think that I have ever been so affected at the end of reading something quite like this. Is this what good fiction is all about? Is this what it is supposed to do to you? Are books supposed to haunt you like this?

I am disturbed and yet fulfilled. I loved the wonderful mix of those great American writers I love (Bukowski, Burroughs, Brautigan) with the chi-chi opulence of the local area, that was cool. The dialogue was fantastic and inspired and the message and significance of our time and where the world is at is just genius. Brilliantly sinister. This is has got the Booker Prize written all over it.

I’m gonna let the author himself tell you about ‘Lost Boys’ and then urge you to go out and get this when it comes out. I haven’t read anything this good for a long time. I'm still stunned.

“Forgive me,” he sobbed, the tears falling now. He saw them, huddled under the damp trees, faces hidden with scarves and masks. Waiting.

Author website

From the Book of Sod's Law...

(Shudders)

Seriously, the awkward display of unity and friendship (and especially this image on the Downing Street steps) of the arrival of the Bush's to see the Brown's yesterday was really enough to put anyone off the idea of wife swapping. I mean, ewwww...

"Oh, Laura... Could you pass Gordon the lube and strap-on for Sarah?"

Tee-Dee-Hee, Sir!

I'm in this weekend, so it's the time of the week when I come across the really arrogant sods who spend all week in their plush offices making the kind of decisions that affect (and in many cases ruin) countless lives within their working day and need the sort of overly polite attention that only Stephen Fry can offer.

The Bookseller to the Stars Vs. Tracy Quan

Today’s guest at the Bookseller to the Stars is a best-selling author of the ‘Manhattan Call Girl’ series, Tracy Quan. Her books are currently being planned as a HBO series in the US, with Darren Star of ‘Sex and the City’ and ‘Melrose Place’ fame. As an advocate and supporter of sex worker rights, she often blogs and writes passionately and intelligently on the subject for all sorts of people, including The Guardian and The New York Times.

Tracy’s new book is the third in that series, ‘Diary of a Jetsetting Call Girl.’ This is the synopsis:

Married call girl Nancy Chan has been asked to do something outrageous -- even by her standards. Most favoured customer Milt has invited Nancy to his luxurious new villa in idyllic Provence. That's a lot of euros, but ! Can a (married) Manhattan call girl really holiday with a client? Seeing him morning, noon and night, coming up with new entertainments, and maintaining both a light tan and a 'professional' distance? Not to mention Milt's Viagra habit. In a difficult economic climate a girl can't always meet her quota, and Nancy's worried about losing her edge. Nancy jumps at the chance to have a break from Manhattan (and from husband Matt) for a few weeks. Desperate for an alibi, she invents a vacation with her mom in southern France. In reality, Nancy is hard at work with some new playmates -- Tini (Malaysian, with something extra), Isabel (a St-Tropez madam), and Serge (Isabel's hunky chauffeur) -- while Matt grows more inquisitive. As Nancy discovers, the French countryside is 'ten times trickier than Manhattan' and nothing in her temporary world is quite what it seems. When Milt's enigmatic cook Duncan turns up unexpectedly in Nancy's erotic fantasies, she begins questioning everything she knows. Can Nancy keep getting away with this?

BTTS: Tell us how Nancy Chan is now in Book Three, 'Diary of a Jetsetting Call Girl'?

TQ: She's doing fine, thanks! Nancy’s finally adjusted to married life, which means she feels less conflicted about cheating on her husband. She's focusing on the logistics of how to get away with it, and everything’s under control. Just kidding, of course.

That’s what she’d like to think, but it’s never that simple. Nancy gets in way over her head. She goes to the south of France, and it’s not really a vacation, it’s a job. Milt, her favorite customer, invites her to his villa in Provence, where she’s faced with emotional and sexual temptation. Nancy is trying in her own way to be a faithful wife while she sneaks around on her husband for money -- but it's getting harder to maintain that delicate balance. And every woman who feels the need to cheat on a man she loves will know how delicate, how fine, that line is.

A few years ago, someone gave me a hat that said "Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself." A playful allusion to The Lord's Prayer. It might also be Nancy's motto. There’s a light-hearted religious theme running through this adventure. Religion -- while it should not be taken too seriously – is formidable, and we shouldn’t underestimate its peculiar power. Religion is messing with Nancy’s life in a big way, and she doesn’t even know it. But she's getting a chance to practice her French!

BTTS: Does Nancy take a vow of chastity by the end of this book then?

TQ: Not quite. But she does have to make some surprising decisions!

BTTS: Are you planning in your head what the reaction will be from Nancy's husband when he eventually finds out that she is a call girl?

TQ: Aha! That’s a trick question, Mark, I’m not falling for it.

BTTS: You have a great affinity and spiritual connection with the UK, don't you? Tell us about your time here.

TQ: Oh my. Well, it wasn’t very spiritual! I hope you don’t think I’ve gone all spiritual just because I play with religious themes in my new novel. That would be a mistake.

I was in London during my teens, and I lived in Highgate with a boyfriend. Coming of age as a sex worker, I had champagne for the first time. Developed a taste for Tattinger. Worked in a club where customers had to order two bottles in order to sit with a girl. It was a very genteel clip joint, and it felt like a temporary home in some ways. I felt safe there, and it was not too competitive. For someone just finding her feet in the trade, it was the right place at the right time.

BTTS: Since we last checked in with you two summers ago here on the blog, have sex workers rights changed for the better? Tell us more about your involvement.

TQ: At one point, I was doing a lot more in PONY (Prostitutes of New York.) It’s a good idea to step aside and let new members define a group, so I’ve done that while also staying in touch with the current members.

Sex worker rights? Well, the situation is always in flux. You can say things are improving, but they are also worse. Ban Ki Moon, the Secretary General of the UN, has been saying that sex work should be decriminalized. That’s a progressive thing to say, but does anyone listen? Cambodia recently outlawed prostitution. As a result, sex workers are being attacked by the police, and sexual assault is common. Wherever sex workers are arrested, the police are known to steal.

It’s also a problem in the United States. I know a sex worker who was recently arrested. The police took $500 from him, claiming it would be used as evidence. He never got his money back, but he considers himself lucky to have had the charges dropped. That’s the kind of thing that happens when prostitution is illegal.

There’s a backlash against sex work, and some of the people responsible for this are pretending to rescue sex workers from what they now call trafficking. It’s a big political scam. A game of words, and easily recognized as such if you understand the power of language.

BTTS: How has New York changed since Mayor Bloomberg's arrival?

TQ: Whatever his flaws may be -- and what mayor doesn't have a few -- anything’s better than our previous mayor. Rudy Giuliani, a Catholic from the borough of Queens, had no respect for the diverse nature of his own religion. He invoked the Church in an effort to punish the Brooklyn Museum for presenting the work of a Roman Catholic artist, oddly enough. It’s a world religion, but our previous mayor was freaked out by a depiction of the Madonna as a black African. We don’t have situations like this under Bloomberg, he’s mostly about business.

Despite any number of annoying qualities, he’s not an ideological mayor. He's into law and order because that’s his job. He’s a rather boring public figure, but that’s fine. We knew way too much about Giuliani and his problems.

Under Bloomberg we experienced a real estate boom, but now we’re in a recession. If you work in a service job, you’re vulnerable. The sex industry, along with restaurants and beauty salons, feels the impact of a recession. But some New Yorkers feel relieved because there’s less pressure to show off. If you’re not a zillionaire yet, you can blame the economy, and it’s not all your fault.

BTTS: Would Bloomberg make a good running mate for Barack?

TQ: He would have to be a very agile floor-crosser. The Republican National Convention was held in New York in 2004 and people feel that their civil liberties were violated because our Republican mayor was too beholden to his party. Even those who weren’t protesting were using terms like “police state” to describe the atmosphere in the streets. A state judge held the city in contempt of court because people were detained without being formally charged. This was four years ago, and it might not matter outside of New York, but it suggests that our mayor is not the ideal running mate for a Democrat candidate. He’s not a right-wing ideologue, and he calls himself an Independent, but I think his loyalty would be an issue and it would be an enormous distraction.

BTTS: Despite his almost rock-star like status and fresh appeal for change, can a black man beat an old white, Republican war hero?

TQ: When you put it like that, yes. I know some Republicans who fought in the second world war, not Vietnam. They’re disenchanted with their party, opposed to the current war and turned off by McCain. I know a doctor on the Upper East Side who’s a Republican – she’s a Reagan Republican and she’s been rooting for Obama since before the nomination. These are just random cases, people I talk to, but it makes me think Obama has a transcendent appeal.

BTTS: Thanks Tracy!

Tracy Quan’s new book, ‘Diary of a Jetsetting Call Girl’ is in bookshops now. All great bookshops will have the others too.

Tracy’s Website
Tracy at The Guardian

Genocide

I loved Andy Gill's 'I Hate Coldplay' article in The Independent (my new best friends) the other day. My favourite bit was,

"Their music sounds like Radiohead with all the spiky, difficult, interesting bits boiled out of it, resulting in something with the sonic consistency of wilted spinach."

Personally, I don't hate Coldplay. They just make me want to commit a large-scale act of genocide. I'm not saying that I don't like them, they just make me want to tear off my arm and hit them with it. Along with The Kaiser Chiefs and Razorlight, they are perfect examples of why people who work in publicity and marketing deserve to be taken round the back of Grandpa's shed and shot.

I asked the guy in the HMV down the road yesterday whether he was being made to play the new Coldplay album on rotation. The poor cunt rolled his eyes and sighed in pain. I was in there getting the new MOJO. It's got a great CD of old punk tracks and a cover feature from the Pistols. There's also a great article about Kid Creole and the Coconuts, which also took me back to dancing around the front room, five years old, to them on Top of the Pops.

I did have a great musical day recently though. I spent a morning putting together an email of YouTube links to videos of one of my favourite years of music for a best-selling author who is currently writing her new book set in that year. It was a bit like a child being given free reign in a toy shop. It will be interesting to see how it turns out. Here's one of them:

A Mouse in the House

I'm sure by now that you people must think I make things up about what happens at the Bookseller to the Stars. Oh, if only...

We had a book launch last night. Our first floor was packed with people. Great turnout. The author has done stand up, so a great speech/reading was delivered and there was a great atmosphere, with the party spilling out onto the balcony, which (because of the way the building is designed) is accessible from the main road.

So anyways, I'm trying to keep the Rose flowing, I have a number of empty wine bottles in my hand and one of the patrons is like,

"Hey Mark, the police are outside. They wanna talk to someone from the shop."

I'm immediately like, splendid... what the fuck is this all about? The only thing I can think of is that the office building we share the balcony/atrium with has complained about the noise or sheer prescence of people enjoying themselves/having a fag in the sun.

Nah.

"Hello Officer, can I help?"

"Yes, we have had a complaint..."

It's actually a Community Support Officer. For those of you in the states, they are like people who want to be policemen and women but are a bit thick. They dress like policemen and women, try and keep the peace on the streets but have no weapons ...or power.

"Ok, right?"

"We've had a complaint from the street about a mouse..."

"A mouse..." I say, looking back in the door at the curious face peering out.

"Yes, I have come to report a mouse in your bookshop..."

After a few seconds, I realise how long I have stood there. Blinking hard. With my mouth open. The CSO looks at the empty bottles in my arms and says,

"Are you inebriated, Sir? Is there someone else I can speak to?"

"Sorry.... No... I'm not drunk. I'm actually working..."

"You look drunk, Sir."

I laugh. There are sniggers coming from the doorway too.

"Sorry, I'm not. I'm just a bit baffled as to why you are bothering us with this. I am sure we both have better and more useful things to do."

"But, we had a complaint..."

"I understand that. And I appreciate..."

"It's vermin. The lady was concerned about the health of her child."

"So this mouse was outside and it came from inside the shop then?" I asked, assuming that they had a complaint from outside the main entrance, which was locked.

"No, it was inside the shop. The mouse was locked behind your doors..."

"Right... I can see the risk... I'm going to go now...."

"Not a problem, Sir. Glad to be of help..."

The CSO adjusts her bulletproof flatjacket, nods respectfully at me and turns on her heels. I squint confused in the sun and the stifled laughter behind me grows into a wave of belly laughing.

Making Up with NOFX

To make up for my laxative on here, I give you 7 whole songs.... in five minutes....

On Being Idle

I know I have been a bit lax. I'm sorry, and yet still you all come. I appreciate it. I have some great interviews coming up, so hang onto your y-fronts and new uniforms, people.

Raffaella Barker, Adele Parks, Frances Osborne and Tracy Quan are all coming atcha, like Cleopatra, y'all.

So stay pruned. xx

Crap Excuses 101

Fern Britton and Tatum O'Neal (two celebrities that are so far removed from each other it's funny) have given off some of the most monumental pieces of bullshit I have ever seen this week to the media. The extent of their shit explanations of their failings will only surface in time, but for the time being, they are perfect examples of people in the limelight that are paying for really crap advice.

Firstly Fern, I know that you think you have a right as a woman to 'keep certain things quiet', but you don't. You deceived people. Get over it. We are fine with you getting your little gastric band, but be honest and possibly step away from fronting a lucrative, healthy eating ad campaign, because it's not really right, is it? Especially when you are flaunting your thinner self on behalf of them, like it was their bloody crackers that did it... You are asking them to follow 'our plan' like it had something to do with you and not the operation you had...

I guess sales of this are not going up anytime soon.

Tatum, Tatum, Tatum... Can I call you Tatum? Look, telling us (upon arrest for buying crack from a dealer) that you were just 'researching a part' is possibly up there with:

1) The dog ate my homework
2) It's not you, it's me
and 3) The publisher I ran into the ground failed because of the market and the people giving us pots of money decided not to anymore, whilst whimpering over your new mahogany desk.

I mean, honestly....

Point of note..

Trust fund babies, city bankers and Facebook event band wagon jumpers (the real reason this rubbish got out of hand) drinking on the tube (as much 'havoc' as they cause with their 'revelling') on the last day of being able to do so, is not a protest. Drinking on the tube on the first day of not being able to do so IS a protest, of which I note that nobody did.

Grow the fuck up, you idiots. Get a life and at the same time, I real worthwhile cause. Only when you are done with the real stresses of your life, that is. Like which day you will get to see the Sex and the City film. Oh Carrie....

You Have A Bogey (and other stories)

I don’t like to talk about the staff at The Bookseller to the Stars, because of many reasons, mainly because it’s not fair on them and the people that have on blogs have gotten fired or disciplined (and not just for the company I work for) but I just wanted to point out how immensly proud I am at being such a talented bunch, aside from the all-important, first class bookselling skills, of course, he says with one arm being forced behind his back by Head Office.

But what I really wanted to point out today was the talents of one individual who the locals in our leafy suburb have the priviledge of selling books to them.

I don't want to talk about the staff, but in this case, I feel like I should because not only do we have a talented, published writer in residence (coughs), but we are also home to nurturing a talented illustrator, a fashion designer (active within the theatre industry), a burgeoning music critic, a photographer, two gigging musicians (I'm already making this sound like we have more staff than we actually have) and a masseuse (not me, although I have been noted for my silky and relaxing fingers)… we have an extremely talented artist (who works weekends with us), whose work (in my esteemed and much lauded opnion deserves to be in the Tate)...

Her name is Clare Maunsell and she has just graduated from the Royal College of Art, in Kensington. They have a graduate show that is open all week until Sunday and I urge you all (especially those with a large bank balance and deep pockets, I know you are all reading this) to go along and check it out, because its very inspiring and creative and spectacular. Clare’s show/corner/wall is especially funny and provocative. When I asked her about the above piece, she said, 'It's the story of my life...' and that made me wonder (seeing on a gravestone like that) about the wordings that banks really convey on their machines. Her collection made me think, wonder and gush. I'm really happy and giddy for her. It's an incredible achievement.

An award-winning artist too at last Year‘s British Art Fair, she has now displayed her wonderful pop art that is a mix of the humour of Banksy's work with the grandiose uniqueness of Andy Warhol's. Unlike a lot of pop art, it has a very humorous and fresh feminine feel to it. I realise that I am no art critic (and certainly not a book one either) but I know what I like and I think this is great. Clare has already sold two of her pieces within minutes of the private viewing opening, so get down there with your big fat wallets, before they all bloody well go...

It’s on till Sunday. We’re all extremely proud of her. If you get lost, it’s on the right before the odd pile of crap in the middle of the floor.

The Bookseller to the Stars Vs. Elizabeth Pisani

One of the most daring and socially-essential books of this year is ‘The Wisdom of Whores’ by Elizabeth Pisani, of which I was lucky enough to attend her launch recently. In her book, she talks about sex in a wonderfully frank and exciting way, not unlike a Kim Cattrall, Sex and the City monologue which is so wholeheartedly refreshing in the same way from a female author, and especially a non-fiction one at that. Plus, you know what we are like here by now, any excuse to talk about sex.

The book is like a female Michael Moore’s account of public health and the politics of ignorance and saving face that unfortunately rides hand in hand with life-ending, infectious disease. There’s lots of jargon and figures and percentages and it does all put your head into a spin to a certain extent, but it is really just an example of how bureaucratic and unnecessary it has all got. But as we know with war, it’s not about many people you kill, it’s how much money you can make re-building your country after the tragedy.

Brilliantly witty and honest. I’d trust her with my country’s outbreak any day. I caught up with the author recently (fresh off the Hay Festival experience) for a little QA action, but first here’s ya synoppy:

Elizabeth Pisani has spent ten years working as a scientist in the bloated AIDS industry.

In "The Wisdom of Whores", she unfolds a universe of brothels and bureaucracies, of bickering junkies and squabbling charities, of men who sell sex and men who would rather prohibit it.
Illustrating solid science with ribald tales from the frontlines of sex and drugs, "The Wisdom of Whores" explains how we could shut down HIV everywhere except sub-Saharan Africa. We could do it with a few, simple steps. We could do it with less money than we already have. But we won't. This book shows how politics, ideology and money - lots of money, ten billion dollars a year - have bulldozed through scientific evidence and common sense. The consequences of our global hypocrisy are tragic. Over 70 million people have been infected with HIV. We know how to stop the virus. But instead of doing what is needed, governments continue to squander taxpayer's money on feel-good programmes that make no difference.

Like "Freakonomics", "The Wisdom of Whores" makes a complex discipline fascinating. Like "Liar's Poker", it provides a riveting insider's view of an industry. It's both a brave, campaigning book that will save lives and change policy on; and a fantastic read, written with passion, wit and integrity.

BTTS: Why is sex such a taboo subject and why do people find it so hard to talk about it?

EP: This is a whole book in its own right. The feminist riff would probably hold that the taboo was created in part because men wanted to control reproduction. Finding it hard to talk about it is a vicious circle. Because it's a taboo people don't talk about it. Because people don't talk about it, everyone worries that their own experience is somehow aberrant: (how come I'd rather read a book than have sex? how can I tell if she's come?), and that makes them even more reluctant to talk about it. Interestingly there is far, far more willingness to talk about it among gay men -- I wonder if that isn't because of role switching -- both partners can take the same roles in sex and that establishes some common ground for discussion.

BTTS: The details and extent of your experience within your field must really do wonders for your libido. Didn't any of this ...put you off?

EP: No. Like most people in the field (including most sex workers) I have the ability to separate work from the personal. Though it did reduce my chances, simply because I spent so long hanging out in places where I was unlikely to be bumping in to the sort of person I might have sex with.

BTTS: It seems to me that the main problem holding back prevention, and even treatment to a certain extent, is the stigma attached to being infected. Is half the battle getting a better understanding out there?

EP: That is a really, really complex issue. I am very unfashionable, but I believe that to a certain extent, stigma can work quite well as a prevention tool (look at smoking). The trick is being able to distinguish between stigmatising the risk behaviours (eg the smoking, the trawling around bars and fucking six guys in a night) and the people who have previously engaged in those risks (eg the person with cancer, the person with HIV).

We've quite rightly bent over backwards to avoid reinforcing stigma against those infected. But one of the consequences of that is that we now have a hard time stigmatising the behaviours. And if we want prevention to work, we need people to believe that those behaviours are something that should be avoided.

BTTS: I can see how that is though. People my age grew up with this extreme sense of fear that (in my case, trickled down into the playground) and I wonder whether the tactics of scare mongering that resulted in the initial awareness campaigns of the 80s were actually more counter productive than they first intended?

EP: As above. Actually, the blanket scaremongering worked pretty well for a while. But it wasn't focused on those who were most at risk. One of the problems with making everyone fearful is that it then becomes difficult to go back to more targeted messages. "If you're straight, you don't have to worry too much about AIDS, but if you're a gay guy, you need to use a condom every time" is a really hard sell.

BTTS: You bring up that most are more interested in treatment than prevention. Is this because our nanny state has made us both lazy and inherently complacent when it comes to our health?

EP: No I don't think so. I think it's part of the human condition to not worry about things until they go wrong, then want to fix them immediately, rather than to think ahead about preventing things going wrong in the first place. It's also largely political: you'll never lose votes for building hospitals and giving medicine to sick people. You'll rarely gain votes by investing public money in helping prostitutes, gay men and junkies have sex/shoot up more safely.

BTTS: It's nice to hear that foreplay is an essential in the fight against infection. Tell us more about that?

EP: Lubrication is an important part of keeping sex safe, because it reduces the likelihood of tears and abrasions which can open the door for the virus to get out of one body and into another. Good foreplay stimulates vaginal lubrication in women, especially pre-menopausal women. After that, or if you're having sex with someone that doesn't turn you on or with several people in quick succession (as some sex workers do), you want to be using lube even if you're getting the foreplay. And since the anus doesn't lubricate itself, you want to be using lube there, no matter how much foreplay there is.

BTTS: Robert Mugabe is kinda current in the news. How has his legacy affected his country and Africa to a wider extent?

EP: Oh don't get me started. Just to stay on topic, one thing he does is illustrate really perfectly, something that I call the Public Health Fallacy. A lot of worthy do-gooders like me want to "save the world" by doing cheap, sensible things that will prevent a lot of nasty, expensive diseases. We storm around with reams of good research proving how easy it is to do these things and badger governments to get going on it. And we can't understand why they won't. That's because worthy do-gooders believe the Public Health Fallacy: they believe that governments exist to do the greatest good for the greatest number of people. And it's just not true in many countries.

Robert Mugabe is an extreme example of a government that exists only to perpetuate itself in power. He will cling on to the end, and he doesn't care how many Zimbabwean children, parents, grandparents he takes down with him. I will say, though, that he's been quite good for HIV, because he's destroyed the economy so completely that men can't afford to entertain more than one woman.

BTTS: How is the African argument that condoms actively cause AIDS even taken seriously? What is their logic behind that?

EP: It's actually perpetuated by some very evil people in the Catholic Church; the most evil of them died last week and not many tears were shed in my world. There's no logic behind it, only ideology. Catholics don't want people to use contraception. By calling into question the effectiveness of condoms, the reduce the likelihood that they'll get used.

BTTS: There seems to be a growing feeling that the Church and society's pressures to only have one sexual partner and put a shameful limit on one's pleasure is an outdated state of mind. Are you a supporter of monogamy and abstinence in the West or has your work made you think otherwise?

EP: I believe that everyone should be able to choose to have sex (or not have it) when they want, with whom they want. I think that it is wise to take the views of your sex partners into account when making these choices. If you're a natural slut and know you're never going to stick to one partner, don't have sex with someone who believes very strongly in monogamy. Conversely if you are really after a settled relationship with just one person, try not to pick up someone married in a bar. I also think that you should be responsible for yourself -- avoid getting or passing on sexual infections (including pregnancy, unless you've both decided otherwise). If you enjoy sex, go for it. But I would apply the first rule of public health to sex as well: "First, do no harm".

BTTS: Thanks Elizabeth.



Elizabeth’s book, ‘The Wisdom of Whores’ (published by Granta) is in the shops now. She has a great blog where you can here more arguments and also here opinion on the very latest news (daily) on this subject. Steve Jones (no, not the gurning twat from T4 or the guitarist from The Sex Pistols) reviews the book in The Telegraph.

Congrats (more back patting)

I'm having a rather smug (and unusually successful week) on the work front for numerous reasons and it seems like some of that magic and other-worldly blessing has filtered down on the boys at The Big Green Bookshop. The ex-Waterstones managers who have started up their own shop in an area where the chain sadly deserted the local community and we documented here the incredible turnaround of the premises from internet cafe to bookshop, have just won Best New Business at The Haringay Business Awards, after only being open a matter of 11 weeks.

This is a huge achievement and I am exceptionally proud of my friend this week. Their passion, determination and drive is absolutely inspiring and just drives home the previous point that they had against their former employers.